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Season 5 New Ep. Translation

[WHAT A FANCY OPENING]
N. Italy: Hey, hey Japan! You used to fight with shuriken a long time ago, right?
Japan: ...Huh?
N. Italy: I want to see a ninja's shuriken! Show me, show me!
Japan: A... shuriken?
N. Italy: Germany wants to see a real shuriken too! Right?
Germany: Shuriken... Erm, yes, that would be nice...
N. Italy: See? Germany looks so happy!
N; Italy: In German movies, ninja keep appearing in weird places!
Japan: Mr. Germany... while it is appreciated that you are so excited, but...
[Ninja cut scene]
N. Italy: (Ninja!)
Germany: !!
Japan: You see, unlike the movies, shuriken don't actually fly nor stick that well. They have very low accuracy, and aren't very dependable as weapons.
Germany: R-really?!
Japan: In fact, it would be more effective to sharpen a chopstick and then throw it or stab with it instead.
Germany: ...Chop... sticks?
N. Italy: To think... a chopstick would...
[Caption: "Good children should not attempt to copy"; English equivalent is "Don't try this at home"]
Narrator: No matter what age it is, during wartime, lack of necessary supplies is not uncommon. In the midst of this, the one that was bothering them the most was the lack of coffee.
N. Italy: E-eugh...!! Germany, Mr. Austria seems really unhappy! He's kind of scary!!...
Germany: Ah... yeah. There's no coffee, so it can't really be helped.
N. Italy: Oh, I see! Germany, you should go help him!
Germany: There's no coffee! It can't be helped!
N. Italy: You'll be fine. If you can't do it, nobody can!
Germany: It's impossible!
N. Italy: You'll manage something~
Germany: As if I could!
Germany: Tch... What am I going to do with them...
Narrator: Even so, Germany began researching to find a usable substitute for coffee.
Germany: Oh?... Aha!
Germany: Alright, Italy! This is coffee made out of dandelion! I want you to try some of it!
N. Italy: Woah, Germany! You're awesome!
N. Italy: Wow!~ ...Mm, it's really coffee! I haven't tasted coffee in so long! Is this really dandelion?
Germany: There's much more nutrients than the original, too.
N. Italy: That's amazing! Mr. Austria will surely be happy, too!
Germany: Er, just one thing [something here I couldn't distinctly hear well; will go back and figure out]
Japan: Excuse me, Mr. Germany. Could I borrow some oil...?
Japan: ...Mr. Germany looks so maiden-like!!
[Mochitalia cutscene]
N. Italy: Germany, Germany!! What do you think of this? It's a tank from my place!
Germany: Huh, so that's the M11/39...
N. Italy: It's pretty cool, right?! It's tall, too! [more things I couldn't distinctly hear. Possible that he was saying something in Italian so I couldn't understand.]
Germany: Er... Italy. Excuse me for saying this at first glance, but... normally, tanks don't have their cannons placed there.
N. Italy: Huh??
[Diagram: 1) Where you normally put the cannon. 2) Where you don't normally put the canon. 3) Cute feet/wheels/stand.]
Germany: You can't use it if it's down there, can you?
N. Italy: /mouthing wordlessly and/or thinking rapidly
N. Italy: The M11/39 has the cannon attached to the main body so to maintain control, the main body had to keep on rotating around and around!
N. Italy: I thought it looked really cool...
Germany: Don't put the design as a priority!!
N. Italy: So all in all, it was a shame to Germany, but it's still cool, right?
[Crowd cheer]
N. Italy: With this, even England will be an easy kill!
England: [pops up] Hm?
Italian Man 1: G-gah! It's England!!
Italian Man 2: All of Britain is targeting Rome!
[Crowd runs away with lots of yelling]
England: [Walks up to tank] ...You're having it pretty bad, too, huh.
[Tank wilts]
N. Italy: Germany! Germany!! Look, it's the upgraded Carro Armato! It's cool, right? The position of the cannon is normal now, too!
Germany: Don't brag about such basic things.
N. Italy: I'll show you the amazing part of this tank right now, so close your eyes and wait!
Germany: A-alright...
N. Italy: Huff, huff!
Germany: ...Be careful.
[Goes on tank firing spree]
N. Italy: ...I'll just leave the tank doors open.
Germany: WHAT AN INSANELY DANGEROUS TANK!!
N. Italy: With every shot fired, the inside of the tank gets filled with smoke and the people inside get hurt, so these tanks were left open most of the time!
.
[ENDING]
N. Italy: I came here to be your friend! Let's form an alliance!
[Credits say that the ending song is "Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo"; 'Rotating Earth Rondo']
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    Can we please just… Just for a moment… Turn to how FUCKING ADORABLE Germany got in trying to hide his excitement when...
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